Your solution to find out all of the information you could have found out by normal weak web stalking? Take me out for a cocktail and you'll know where I am, what kind of time I'm having, how I feel, all the stuff. The only flame war I'm likely to get into IRL is the hopelessness of string theory, and why whitespace should not matter in a programming language ... so probably just best to avoid those topics. If you are into actual physical stalking, you should start by staking out a cigar lounge in Greensboro, North Carolina, there is a good chance I'll be by.
If you know me you most probably have all the contact information you need to reach me. If not, or the number you have for me is old, it's pretty simple to start, just send an email addressed to literally anything at this domain. You can make up your own: jerk, fancyman, ilikeyouinthatsuit, whatever. Easter egg ... if you construct just the right address to which to send it your message will be marked as important and I'll get a text too.